Oh no he didn’t!
Yes, I did… and now I have your attention….
Yup… It’s true, as any educated person who’s actually bothered to look into this will tell you, the Hebrew word ‘Almah‘ is very similar to the English word ‘Maiden‘ – in as such that as a polyseme it has several meanings – including ‘virgin‘ or ‘young woman‘.
Other polysemes include wood (what a tree contains, and where you can find one…) and milk (the liquid, and also what you have to do to a cow to get it….). You learn something every day.
As for the young lady Mary… well, it’s not very special or amazing is it, to be born from a woman who isn’t a virgin…. so sod it, why not deliberately misinterpret the meaning and BINGO! You have a miracle birth, much more befitting of the supposed king of kings…
As for the shithouse door thing, who knows? Your guess is as good as mine…. and no less fictional than the story in the bible.