God and Son

Poking the bloated corpse of religion with a pointy stick to hear it fart.

2012 in review

Wishing you all the very best for 2013. Many thanks for your continued support for God and Son – I never expected such a positive response to the site, but you all upped my faith in humanity. There are a lot more straight thinking, rational minded people out there than I realised.

2012 has been a turning point for atheism, with many more people coming out of the confession booth and finally saying ‘YES! This religion thing is twisted rubbish!‘ and taking responsibility for their own actions.

Remember, religion has fooled many great minds. It’s okay to admit that it fooled you too. Atheists won’t judge you! Welcome to freedom and the rational mind!

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

19,000 people fit into the new Barclays Center to see Jay-Z perform. This blog was viewed about 92,000 times in 2012. If it were a concert at the Barclays Center, it would take about 5 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

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A Bit of Focus

Commandment 5:
If you honour your parents, you will get to live in the promised land.

Okay, seems fair. Direct from Gods mouth onto a stone tablet. Can’t argue there.

Commandment 2:
If your parents make false idols, or don’t worship God, then their sins will be passed down through generations of their children… So yeah… Forget about commandment 5.

Because God can be a contrary bitch.

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Thou Shall Not Kill. Eventually.

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New Living Translation

Then God gave the people all these instructions:

I am the Lord your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt, the place of your slavery.

1. You must not have any other god but me.

(Because God is really insecure – A very human trait… Which isn’t such a shock, as God was created by men.)

2. You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me. But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands.

(Okay, really insecure. The threats are to make sure you don’t wander off. The Church wants you to itself, so follow us… It won’t be good for you if you don’t follow us… Capiche?)

3. You must not misuse the name of the Lord your God. The Lord will not let you go unpunished if you misuse his name.

(No disregarding God’s name. The Church only wants positive stuff said about God.)

4. Remember to observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. You have six days each week for your ordinary work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath day of rest dedicated to the Lord your God. On that day no one in your household may do any work. This includes you, your sons and daughters, your male and female servants, your livestock, and any foreigners living among you. For in six days the Lord made the heavens, the earth, the sea, and everything in them; but on the seventh day he rested. That is why the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and set it apart as holy.

(Woohoo! You have to love an almighty boss who enforces a day off! At a time when every day was worked this commandment really pulled in the public… Let’s not forget all of those slaves who had nothing to look forward to – No one looking out for them… INSTANT FOLLOWERS! But let’s get this straight: You now have an entire day each week to hammer it into your thick skulls that the Church of God is the only thing that you should worship. Or maybe you want your ankles broken?)

5. Honour your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

(Yeah… You might not believe in a giant sky fairy, but the Church has you here! Ha! Using a child’s trust in its parents to build the myth… and yeah, these are the words of God… and yeah, God did say that if you honour your parents you will get a place in Heaven… BUT what about commandment number 2? Well, there’s an easy answer. Fuck you. There. Now move on. Amen.)

6. You must not murder.

(Because the Church fears that you might want to fight back. That’s why this law finally shows up, way after the insecurities and threats.)

7. You must not commit adultery.

(Says the Church… Or rather the people who put all this bollocks together, more than likely to protect their own marriages. ‘SEE WIFE! IT SAYS IT RIGHT HERE!! AND YOU CAN’T ANSWER BACK BECAUSE THE BIBLE SAYS WOMEN SHOUKD STAY SILENT!)

8. You must not steal.

(The Church hates competition. You find gold, we want that gold… So you can go to heaven. Asshat…)

9. You must not testify falsely against your neighbour.

(Look, if your neighbour is breaking these rules, you can’t lie & cover up for them. Yup, this rule is to make sure that the scared, stupid & pliable minded people give up the potential thinking trouble makers who don’t believe…)

10. You must not covet your neighbour’s house. You must not covet your neighbour’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbour.

(Again, just because the religious leaders sit on golden thrones in richly decorated palaces, doesn’t mean that you should want the same. Be happy with giving it all to the Church… You’ll feel better. Oh, sorry… Did you think this was purely about your next door neighbour? Oh you foolish people!)

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‘C’ all Evil

Just for a change…

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Weak Lemon Drink

I was happily going around killing loads of people, stealing things, telling lies about my neighbours and secretly wanting all the cool stuff my neighbours had…

I mean I was doing all this without even thinking about it… Stab, stab, slice, thieve, stab, choke…

Then I discovered the Bible, Christianity and The Ten Commandments, and suddenly I realised that then, and only then, that what I had been doing was wrong!

I felt so foolish!!! I mean without Jesus I would’ve just carried on my murderous, thieving lifestyle as if nothing mattered! Thank you God!

Said no one ever.

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Stupid Chinese

Yes, yes… Some people just don’t want to play the game.

Fancy leaving a shopping list for people to find 30,000 years later

Actually, it’s not a shopping list. It’s a fortune cookie draft.

It says “In 30,000 years, a bunch of hyped up creationists will come up with some relentless and crazy excuses (of which none will be slightly plausible) as to why this writing is fake, or how some God planted it as a test… Lol”

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Plague Inc.

So I was playing ‘Plague Inc’ over Christmas & needed a good name for an unrelenting virus that would eventually destroy humankind.

Only took a few seconds to figure out the most fearful virus out here.

Incredibly infectious to the young, makes people irrational & lose their minds, and causes wars due to people’s inability to work together once they are infected. It’s spread by fear and stupidity, and causes blindness in its victims.

It protects itself by giving the victim an enormous sense of righteous smugness, and they put themselves into a position which makes them feel that they’ll lose face if they don’t defend the virus. In the end the victim falls to Stockholm Syndrome and sides with the very virus that will kill them.

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Happy Birthday, Power Ranger Cuckoo.

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Yeah… Because cuckoos lay eggs in other birds nests, and then let the other birds raise their young… Not at all like Christians hijacking pagan festivals to force out the original ways & replace them with forced Christianity…

Not at all. I mean, there was no need to hijack other rituals way back when Christianity was beginning, because Christianity was so strong it would easily gain followers without such underhand techniques… No?

Also, not at all like toy and game manufacturers who use TV shows to hook kids into buying all the paraphernalia that goes with the toy, and then it spreads around the school to other kids… and so on.

Yeah, it’s the original old school scam… Old, old school. You can see it working in many places today, but yet people just can’t see that’s what they are involved in…

Anyway…

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND SEASONS GREETINGS ONE AND ALL!!!

Apart from the religious asshats forcing their views on people that can’t defend against them.

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My mistake

I messed up yesterday.

I completely missed the point that the gift giving fat man had to be wearing a costume.

Milk can be a gift, can’t it?

I hope this fixes things…

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Hold up a second…

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Honestly Basil, she looks like a man!

Meet Michele Allen. The Ohio woman, 32, was arrested Saturday night after she got liquored up and began chasing kids and blocking traffic in her Middletown neighborhood. Allen was wearing a cow costume at the time of her arrest, as can be seen in the mug shots (one of which includes a clear shot of Allen’s udder). A police report does not indicate why she was so dressed. Allen pleaded guilty yesterday to disorderly conduct and sentenced to a month in the local lockup.

In all fairness, the photo and story were so funny I had to share them!

I have to wonder what biblical law she was breaking, mind you… I’ve never seen one saying “Thou shall not dress as a cow and chase children around, whilst distressing travellers and causing them delay“. Mind you, I’ve not seen a direct biblical notation saying that gay marriage is illegal… but it still is in certain areas.

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It’s almost Fatman and Baby Day!!!

Yup, the day people associate with a fat man and a tiny ickle baby…

I think I’ve got this right…

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