God and Son

Poking the bloated corpse of religion with a pointy stick to hear it fart.

Stoned to death… WITH STONES!

on January 16, 2013

Thank you ‘SF’… (see yesterday’s G&S)

Deuteronomy 20-21

But if the thing is true, that evidence of virginity was not found in the young woman, then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones,

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I do like how the bible instructs the murderous mob to use stones to stone her to death. I mean, who knows what they would have used to STONE her to death if the bible hadn’t clarified that point…

Now some people say that I’m interpreting these exact words incorrectly, and thats not what is meant… BUT as discussed, if I were to say he bible is wrong – what with the bible being the word of god – then I’d be judging god… and that’s a sin…

So, the bible, the word of god, cannot be wrong, because if you say (or think) that a part needs to be interpreted differently to HOW GOD HAD WRITTEN IT, then you’ll end up burning in Hell… with Mary, the dirty whore.

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10 responses to “Stoned to death… WITH STONES!

  1. Juan Uribe says:

    But, Mary keep virgn after the god’s rape… that’s what the bible said… that means that god have a very small penis!… ok… that’s not impossible, considering the size of the pennis of the doves. Everything makes sense!… aleluyah!… may faith is recovered :D

    • Christopher says:

      “…I guess that explains the plethora of huge erections in his honor, because we all know that a steeple’s just a subconscious compensatory manifestation of a huge stiff penis…”

      -Tim Minchin

  2. Mark O'Leary says:

    Um, no–even today in Jewish tradition, betrothal is halfway married. So much so that if you call off the wedding before going through with the final ceremony you actually have to get divorced. In the eyes of that culture, Mary definitely WAS married, a fact which is actually hinted at in the biblical text.

    • LB says:

      So really, it’s all still a sinful rape incest baby, but Mary either gets stoned for not being a virgin, or stoned for cheating on Joseph.

      She seems a bit of a player….

  3. Juan Uribe says:

    So… if Mary was raped by this dove, which very small pennis did not do any injury to mary’s clitoris…. she was still a virgin. By the other way, she must be very dissapointed. May be, for this reason se looks so sad in the pictures (some of them with her hearth broken). Poor mary… pregnated with no pleasure, no orgasm… :(

    • LB says:

      I think you’ll find any definitions of rape won’t mention doves with small penises.

      • Juan Uribe says:

        You are so right… but i’ve to correct myself… to be honest it wasn´t technically a rape because se accepted the intercourse (L c. 1, 26 – 38)… I can imagine, she, expecting a GOD in the bed…. Then she had to settle with a pigeon… again… poor mary.

        • Juan Uribe says:

          hmmm… by the other way, we can consider it as a rape…. what do you think if a very powerfull and allmighty father “suggest” to his dauther (a probably ignorant woman from a very small country dominated my bigot men) to fuck her… she really doesn’t have any option, does she? … so… may be, it finally was a rape, similar to a bishop abusing of a small child paralized my the terror after asking…¿may i fuck you?

  4. Ron Tennant says:

    Between a rock and a…..

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