God and Son

Poking the bloated corpse of religion with a pointy stick to hear it fart.

Pray for nothing, Cheques for free.

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You mean ACTUALLY do something?!?

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My wife helped with that last comment.

Bless her!

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Dear God, thanks?

Yup… Been here before.

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You’re not praying hard enough… People are still dying.

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The 4:12 to Hell

The 4:12 to Hell. The title’s a bit of an in joke and nothing much to do with the cartoon, and the joke was first written years ago about the then new stagecoaches… but at least it’s, erm… Well… It could be worse.

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Boston Marathon Bombs

I am shocked to hear of the terrible explosions during the Boston Marathon that has reportedly killed around 20 people.

The truth is, most of us are helpless to do anything.

Although prayer won’t help at all, I can honestly say that my thoughts are with those that are effected by this news. Respect is due to those who are able to give tangible help, and to those people I give thanks for what they can do.

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Got Wind?

I hope everyone rides Hurricane Sandy out safely…

… and I hope you all took proper precautions.*

As a Godless Atheist I do actually care, and I do feel for those hit by this storm.
I even feel bad for the idiots who thought god would help.

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* HINT: Praying isn’t a proper precaution.

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Stone the Pope!

Pick & choose, la de da…

Note: Depending on your stance, the sabbath falls on different days. I’ve gone with Sunday. Any of the others would have also been as daft & inconsistent.

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Matthew 6:5-6

New International Version (©1984)
“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

GOD’S WORD® Translation (©1995)
“When you pray, don’t be like hypocrites. They like to stand in synagogues and on street corners to pray so that everyone can see them. I can guarantee this truth: That will be their only reward.

When you pray, go to your room and close the door. Pray privately to your Father who is with you. Your Father sees what you do in private. He will reward you.

Okay… If you pray, do it in private. Praying for any other reason than for you to communicate in person with god, in private, alone, is not a good thing… So aside from pissing on prayer circles, this has many knock on effects… like politicians shouting out about how righteous they are… and by doing so, automatically showing how righteous they aren’t… Oh yeah, and those sports personalities who do little prayers before running a race. Burn.

But I digress…

Exodus 31:15

New International Version (©1984)
For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD. Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day must be put to death.

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
‘For six days work may be done, but on the seventh day there is a sabbath of complete rest, holy to the LORD; whoever does any work on the sabbath day shall surely be put to death.

King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)
Six days may work be done; but in the seventh is the sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD: whosoever doeth any work in the sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death.

Okay, I get the picture… Don’t work Sunday, or God will rip your head off and dance on your sinful corpse…

So where does that lead religious leaders, from vicars & priests up to the pope & other heads of religious cults?

These leaders take to the pulpit or whatever they use, every Sunday, AND they pray in front of people… Publicly! Mind you, all of the people who go to watch, ALSO pray!!! They are just as bad!

Actually, no. Those who go to listen & pray aren’t as bad as the evil sinner at the front…

These sinners at the front, they receive payment for working a Sunday & need to be stoned to death. I suggest we do that right now, to save their souls!!! (No, I don’t really suggest that, because that would be as stupid as the bible itself).

Payment?!?!

Of course. Things cost money, so they need money – even though they seem determined to spout make believe rather than do proper work.

In 2000 there was a news item on the BBC about vicars wanting more money. At the time they released these figures:

Curates: £14,680-£15,820
Parish clergy: £16,420
Cathedral-based canons: £20,200
Junior bishops: £24,790
Diocesan bishops: £30,120
Archbishop of Canterbury: £55,660

As a guide, the latest salary for a vicar I found is £26,565 – So you could also cautiously put about 60% on all of those 2000 salaries. (Found via My Salary)

It includes a job spec… A sinful Sunday working job spec…

The average salary for a Vicar in the UK is: £26,585

Job profile for a Vicar:

Preparing and leading Sunday church services, visiting the sick, preach sermons and lead the chuch in mission and out reach to the local community. Chair various church and community comittees. Conduct Baptisms, weddings and funerals. Facilitate relavant youthwork and wider community involvement such as drop ins and the like. Pioneers fresh expressions of worship for the current generation. Often act as curator for an old building overseeing its care and repair.

Amazing what careers can be made by spouting bullshit.

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Shut your prayer hole

Matthew 6:5-6
5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. 6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

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In other words… “Shut up. Do your god bothering in your own room… Pope…”

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Follow Through

(Exodus 31:14) – “Therefore you are to observe the Sabbath, for it is holy to you. Everyone who profanes it shall surely be put to death; for whoever does any work on it, that person shall be cut off from among his people.”

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Double edged God

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Unless you’ve had your head up your backside you will have noticed the Olympics are taking place.

Major sporting events are often a great place to spot ‘God Thankers’… You know the type… The ones who praise god for helping them get a medal.

Yeah, screw the family & friends who support you, who have to give up parts of their lives to help & support you… Screw the trainers, the medics, physiotherapists, sponsors & event organisers… your team mates… and a big screw you to all the fans… It was all GOD…. A god who adores the greed & pride of people devoted to their own goals, and being better than anyone else… Well, if god existed… HA!

Note: I’m not saying (all) sportspersons are selfish. They are self focused & have a right to celebrate what they achieve.

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Gabby Douglas won’t learn though, you just know it…

In an interview after getting a gold:

“It is everything I thought it would be; being the Olympic champion, it definitely is an amazing feeling. And I give all the glory to God. It’s kind of a win-win situation. The glory goes up to Him and the blessings fall down on me,”

Later, she tweeted: “Let all that I am praise the LORD; may I never forget the good things He does for me.”

She also stated on her Twitter account that she loves “my family, dogs & most importantly God :)”

THEN…. God pushes her off of the uneven bars and she comes last in an event… Because God does shit like that apparently…. Oh yeah, God, not satisfied with slamming the American down, gives that gold to a Russian…. HA! Well done to Aliya Mustafina for that.

Douglas states that she failed because …

“Toward the end of the Olympics, you get mentally and physically tired and you’re just like drained,” she said. “I tried to fight through it as much as I could.”

Sure, you and ALL OF THE OTHERS YOU WERE COMPETING WITH & AGAINST.

Rubbish excuse. The real reason was smugness and over confidence from already getting a few medals. Yup, Douglas proved quite literally that pride comes before a fall. Delicious irony all round.

Just admit you messed up. Don’t make excuses. Be pleased you got that far & rise above the excuses….

… and thank the RIGHT people…

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