God and Son

Poking the bloated corpse of religion with a pointy stick to hear it fart.

Mass Stupidity

on July 12, 2012

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The Higgs Boson particle.

WHAT IS THE HIGGS BOSON/GOD PARTICLE?

A very very very very simplified description for very very very very simple people.

Note to my international followers: Flavoured wobbly gelatine desert stuff is called jelly in many countries, or Jello in America and Canada. Oddly, Jelly in America or Canada is often used to refer to jam preserves…

Anyway, for this explanation, the raspberry flavoured gelatine desert will be referred to as JELLY.

The Higgs Boson particle is like the jelly (or ‘jello’ … you get the picture…) in a trifle.

Without it, all the fruit and sponge would go everywhere.

The jelly holds it together…. BUT it doesn’t hold everything the same way. The ice cream and sprinkles can move around more than the sponge and fruit stuck in the jelly.

Now imagine adding hot fudge sauce. The steam from the hot fudge sauce isn’t slowed down by the jelly at all!

If the jelly stopped the hot fudge steam escaping, then the whole trifle would be a melted watery goo of messed up fruit, sponge, ice cream, sprinkles and hot fudge sauce!

Yet without the jelly, the whole mixture and all the ingredients would shoot off all over the place and never ever be a trifle….

The Higgs Boson jelly particle stops some ingredients in the universe from flying off all over the place, whilst letting other ingredients fly around doing what they need to do.

The trifle is the universe and everything in it.

Okay… That’s what effect the Higgs Boson has in the universe….

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WHY IS IT CALLED THE GOD PARTICLE?

The Higgs Boson is named after Peter Higgs, a professor.

He’s not God. For one thing, Higgs is real.

The God Particle is just a nickname for the HIGGS BOSON particle. Scientists ‘guessed’ that the particle must exist, or else all of their calculations would be wrong.

They spent 60 years looking for it.

Imagine being blindfolded and sitting in a small boat in a swimming pool. You are absolutely sure that something is keeping you and the boat from sitting on the bottom of the swimming pool, but it takes 60 years to finally manage to untie the blindfold and see what it is. The water HAD to be there… you just couldn’t prove it.

It was tricky, hard work, frustrating…. and one scientific author nicknamed it “That Goddamned Particle“. The book editor didn’t like the sweary sounding name, so reduced it to ‘The God Particle‘.

It has NOTHING TO DO WITH GOD. Okay, apart from the word ‘god’.

In fact it has PROVED more science to be RIGHT… Thus undermining yet more religious based crap about how the universe was created.

So, to all you narrow minded, unintelligent, band waggon jumping religious idiots who are shouting from the temples and mosques “THEY’VE DISCOVERED THE GOD PARTICLE! I BET YOU ATHEISTS FEEL LIKE DICKS NOW!?!?”…. I’d like to say that no, we don’t…. because we aren’t idiots, and we actually bothered to find out what the Higgs Boson is all about, instead of jumping to conclusions and making ourselves look like sky pixie worshipping morons by going on the Internet and pouring scorn on people with stuff we have no idea about, just because it has the word GOD in it.

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Note to cleverer people: Yes, I know….. but this is the simplest analogy I could come up with.

Thanks to @aurora446 for the proof reading of my recipe… 🙂

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15 responses to “Mass Stupidity

  1. The stupid – it hurts…

  2. LB says:

    Reblogged this on Sometimespace and commented:

    What’s The Higgs Bosun (God) Particle Fuss? JELLY!!!

  3. Ron Tennant says:

    With super symmetry theory will there an anti god particle, the devils in the detail.

  4. JaXs says:

    I am sad for you.

  5. Beachbum says:

    Great job! But now I feel as though I need to run a few laps as I may have hit my calorie limit just reading this. B)

  6. The amount of stupid in this world could get us all killed. It is only smart people like this saving us from cretards.

  7. Squeaky says:

    Reblogged this on dazedeye and commented:
    A recent discovery, and one I am totally in one with…

  8. dan says:

    Nice analogy, unfortunately bosun is a naval rank. Particles are boson. Doesn’t change the facts that people who think that a particle nicknamed god particle by media proves existance of a god are too stupid to even bothering arguing with.

    • LB says:

      Yeah, I suddenly realised I had used both BosUn and BosOn in the same piece… Damn my proof reader…. Oh, that’s me…..

      Not being fixated with faith & religion, I can take critique & correct accordingly … 😉

      Cheers!

      • dan says:

        Good man. Keep up the good work

        • LB says:

          Cheers.

          I’m kicking myself now. I was so pleased with getting the analogy as simple as that…. and the thought of pudding…… Hmmmmmmm… yes, erm, ah! that I totally failed to notice the errors! Sure, getting it wrong throughout is bad enough, but actually getting it right in places & not noticing the incorrect ones! Gah!

          If you spot any more, I’ll humbly accept corrections!

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