So yesterday the cartoon failed to upload.
This is what you missed…
Okay… I think ‘this is what you missed‘ was a bit ambitious… It’s more like ‘this is what you would’ve seen, then sighed at the time you’d wasted, then clicked and searched for something less liable to make you turn off your computer & become a hermit‘…
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Bugger!!! I’ve just seen that the scheduled cartoon failed to upload today!!!
I promise I’ll make up for it tomorrow!
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In response to a comment on yesterday’s cartoon…
Well, that should satisfy Chris Woods.
It’s a bit of a western side of the Atlantic joke, so for everyone else, here’s a picture of a sad kitten made to look like Pikachu.
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Link to Chris Woods (Artist).
He’s also a top pod-caster with Horsetrack Hooligans.
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GOD & SON on FACEBOOK & TWITTER
Mass Biblical destruction of land and people…
The atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were acts carried out in God’s name.
U.S President Harry S Truman made this perfectly clear when he filmed a speech thanking God for the bomb.
It is an awful responsibility which has come to us.
We thank God that it has come to us, instead of to our enemies; and we pray that He may guide us to use it in His ways and for His purposes.
God’s purpose then, was to burn, irradiate, crush & tear apart around quarter of a million Japanese people, and leave a legacy of cancer through radiation poisoning… and some people STILL ask what harm can it do, to let people believe in religion?
‘Thou shall not kill… anything less than 225,000 Japanese people’ said no bible ever…
‘Thou shall drop a bomb of such power onto a mostly civilian populace, that it will leave the atomised shadow of a man on a concrete step for all to see, to demonstrate the power of God…and AMERICA!!! YEEE HAAA!!!!… and then do it again before the Japanese can take in the full weight of the situation & surrender… because if they surrender too soon, then the second bomb design (the one dropped on Nagasaki) wouldn’t be able to be tested on a real city…
Tested? Yes. It was freely admitted that Hiroshima was kept free of conventional bombing because the Americans wanted to see the devastation caused by the (God’s) atomic bomb, and they didn’t want false readings from any previous bombing.
Reading up on the history of the two war bombs and the following Bikini Atoll A and B tests, an American naivety over the rest of the world comes across far too clearly.
In the movie footage of his various speeches Truman invites the world leaders to see the Bikini tests under the guise of showing them how powerful & dangerous such weapons are, and how no one should be allowed such things… BUT it’s transparent that this flimsy message is just a contrived invite to show the world what America can do, and that it has atomic weapons… but that no one else should have them.
God moves in mysterious ways? Nope… God’s used in mysterious ways more like.
YAY GOD, AND THE SHIT DONE IN THE NAME OF THE IMAGINARY SKY PIXIE.
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Anything to gain followers, the bible actually states that anyone who isn’t against god, is actually for god.
Yup… Even atheists who don’t believe, but are happy to let people get on and worship this imaginary egocentric genocide inducing sky pixie, are FOR GOD…
What a bunch of insecure crap.
Anyone Not Against Us Is for Us
John said to him, “Teacher, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he was not following us.” But Jesus said, “Do not stop him, for no one who does a mighty work in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me. For the one who is not against us is for us.
Mark 9:38-9:40
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Well, the Bible is The Truth…
Therefore, Jesus is the most evil being ever.
Considering all of the wars, rapes, murders, genocides, torture, hate, bile and on and on that are birthed from the Bible & its followers, then for once I think it got something right.
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The Aristocrats joke… It’s not so much the joke, but the journey…
Before it starts… The following take on the Aristocrats joke has been made using sections of the bible. Instructions commanded by God. True, the language has been brought up to date, but the spirit is as true (ha!) as it was when it was laid out in the Bible.
So, if you find it offensive, what ever you do, DO NOT READ THE BIBLE. It’s full of this depravity.
Oh yeah, they teach the very same bible to children…
A family walks into a talent agency. It’s a father, mother, son, daughter and three dogs. There are several talent agents and the father says to one of them, “We have a really amazing act. You should represent us.”
The agent says, “Sorry, We don’t represent family acts. They’re a little too cute.”
The mother says, “Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us.”
The agent says, “OK. OK. We’ll take a look.”
The wife asks an office boy in from the corridor and asks him to lie down, where she covers him up and then nails his head to the ground with a tent peg. The father then calls in some workers from outside and offers his wife and daughter to them to rape and sodomise.
Whilst the workers are screwing his wife and daughter to death, the father takes his son and starts beating him against a rock until he is dead. The workers cut up his wife and daughter and leave.
The father steps over the bloody mess & finds a young maiden who he then rapes. He then asks her to marry him, but she refuses, so he takes her to her fathers house, and gathers then men of the village to stone her to death.
The man then attacks one of the other talent scouts and kills him, taking his girlfriend who was their with him. He forces her to strip, shave her head, and then he screws her, but she’s not that into it, so he lets her go… but as she leaves some people from the next door office come into the talent agents office saying that they can’t believe what’s going on. The father then charges into their office, piles all of there belongings up & sets fire to it, along with those that didn’t believe.
Then some work experience boys see the mess in the agency office & start screaming at the father; ‘YOU FREAK! YOU BALD LUNATIC!!!’ at which two she-bears charge into the room and rip the young lads to a bloody death.
One of he talent agents says he can see this will get out of hand, so the father screams at him; ‘SORCERER! VIEWER OF FUTURE EVENTS!!!’ and strikes him to the floor, bombarding him with stones until dead. It’s now that a second son turns up screaming at his father for the crap he is pulling, but the father soon quietens the boy down by breaking his face open with a large rock for talking badly at him.
A cleaning lady sees this all happening and exclaims; ‘JESUS CHRIST! IN GODS NAME YOU CAN’T EXPECT ME TO CLEAR THIS HOLY MESS UP?!?’ So the man turns to her and clubs her to death with a chair for blaspheming.
To finish off, the man goes to the office water fountain & wrenches it from the wall, flooding the room. One of the dogs drown, but the other two – a male and a female – escape on a floating office desk.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages; “That’s a hell of an act. What do you call it?”
And the father says, “The Christians!”
A few people have asked for references to the chapters used. A quick reference you can use is HERE. Then you can do what I did & checked that they were right, by going to the Bible itself.
That’s pretty much the lazy way the joke was written. I read those ‘Evil Bible‘ sections, then confirmed them against the Bible, then made up a section of the joke. I modernised the language to suit the current era and inserted a few plot links to join one section to another, but the acts themselves are lifted straight from the bible.
I could save you time & list them chapter & verse, but I figure you should go and read it to see what a cluster-fuck of ass-hattery the whole book & religion is. Take your own word for it, then spread it first hand.
Thanks for all the support it has been given though! Much appreciated folks.
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God and Son 