God and Son

Poking the bloated corpse of religion with a pointy stick to hear it fart.

Mormon Kitten Terror

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Where does it say anything in any religious scriptures about encasing a live kitten in concrete as a threat to your perceived enemies?

Yes, REALLY (Click here if you feel strong enough to stomach what this asshole did).

Isn’t religion lovely?

Aren’t religious people wonderful?

Good job they have their religion to give them a moral guide, unlike us atheists….

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The One with the Donkeys

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I was surprised to find very little on the Internet about religious leaders having sex with animals…. (Yeah, must remember to clear my browser history…)

All I found was page after page and case after case about people from various mainstream religions abusing children, raping three year old girls, sodomising young boys, killing their children, mutilating children, chopping their children’s heads off, raping their daughters…

From all over the world I found atrocity after atrocity of child abuse carried out in the name of a god or religious icon…

I had to stop clicking ‘next page‘ because the list of religious child abuse just went on and on, and I became angrier and angrier at each page turn….but nothing about a bishop and three donkeys…. so apparently they have a limit….

…..or they know that they don’t need to fuck animals when there are frightened children they can abuse. Children who won’t tell on them for the fear they might upset Jesus (etc) and end up in one of many variations of Hell.

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Mass Stupidity

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The Higgs Boson particle.

WHAT IS THE HIGGS BOSON/GOD PARTICLE?

A very very very very simplified description for very very very very simple people.

Note to my international followers: Flavoured wobbly gelatine desert stuff is called jelly in many countries, or Jello in America and Canada. Oddly, Jelly in America or Canada is often used to refer to jam preserves…

Anyway, for this explanation, the raspberry flavoured gelatine desert will be referred to as JELLY.

The Higgs Boson particle is like the jelly (or ‘jello’ … you get the picture…) in a trifle.

Without it, all the fruit and sponge would go everywhere.

The jelly holds it together…. BUT it doesn’t hold everything the same way. The ice cream and sprinkles can move around more than the sponge and fruit stuck in the jelly.

Now imagine adding hot fudge sauce. The steam from the hot fudge sauce isn’t slowed down by the jelly at all!

If the jelly stopped the hot fudge steam escaping, then the whole trifle would be a melted watery goo of messed up fruit, sponge, ice cream, sprinkles and hot fudge sauce!

Yet without the jelly, the whole mixture and all the ingredients would shoot off all over the place and never ever be a trifle….

The Higgs Boson jelly particle stops some ingredients in the universe from flying off all over the place, whilst letting other ingredients fly around doing what they need to do.

The trifle is the universe and everything in it.

Okay… That’s what effect the Higgs Boson has in the universe….

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WHY IS IT CALLED THE GOD PARTICLE?

The Higgs Boson is named after Peter Higgs, a professor.

He’s not God. For one thing, Higgs is real.

The God Particle is just a nickname for the HIGGS BOSON particle. Scientists ‘guessed’ that the particle must exist, or else all of their calculations would be wrong.

They spent 60 years looking for it.

Imagine being blindfolded and sitting in a small boat in a swimming pool. You are absolutely sure that something is keeping you and the boat from sitting on the bottom of the swimming pool, but it takes 60 years to finally manage to untie the blindfold and see what it is. The water HAD to be there… you just couldn’t prove it.

It was tricky, hard work, frustrating…. and one scientific author nicknamed it “That Goddamned Particle“. The book editor didn’t like the sweary sounding name, so reduced it to ‘The God Particle‘.

It has NOTHING TO DO WITH GOD. Okay, apart from the word ‘god’.

In fact it has PROVED more science to be RIGHT… Thus undermining yet more religious based crap about how the universe was created.

So, to all you narrow minded, unintelligent, band waggon jumping religious idiots who are shouting from the temples and mosques “THEY’VE DISCOVERED THE GOD PARTICLE! I BET YOU ATHEISTS FEEL LIKE DICKS NOW!?!?”…. I’d like to say that no, we don’t…. because we aren’t idiots, and we actually bothered to find out what the Higgs Boson is all about, instead of jumping to conclusions and making ourselves look like sky pixie worshipping morons by going on the Internet and pouring scorn on people with stuff we have no idea about, just because it has the word GOD in it.

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Note to cleverer people: Yes, I know….. but this is the simplest analogy I could come up with.

Thanks to @aurora446 for the proof reading of my recipe… ­čÖé

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What Did The Romans Ever Do For Us.

Not enough….?

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The God Particle

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‘MASS’…. See what I did there?

Like a religious mass or the mass of elementary particles…. Never mind…

Actually, it’s called the God Particle after the book ‘The God Particle: If the Universe Is the Answer, What Is the Question?‘ by Nobel Prize-winning physicist Leon M. Lederman and science writer Dick Teresi.

A brief, humorous explanation of the Higgs Boson.

A bit of a deeper explanation.

Quite simply, but accurate description…

It was discovered in the LHC – Large Hadron Collider, which is a seriously intense piece of scientific apparatus… So you can either READ THIS, or accept the following picture as to how the Higgs Bosun was found…

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Wind It In

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See more about Madalyn Murray O’Hare HERE.

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Alien Drive-by

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“Hey, Zmbuk, looks like a planet that could do with our help.”

“Yes Chniz, let’s land and share our technol…. Hang the fnyuk on… what are they doing?”

“Ghyst on a solar-sled! They’re fighting over who believes in the right imaginary sky pixie… Some are even fighting over the interpretation of the fictional teachings and rules of the same sky pixie!”

“It gets worse Chniz. They’re killing people due to skin colour and who they love!”

“Fnyuk them. If they have no tolerance of their own species, then what will they do to us?”

“Maybe in a few hundred years they’ll either realise they are wrong or kill everyone over a fairytale….”

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Chuck Norris – Closet Homosexual?

Chuck Norris is so tough, he…. Erm…. fears gays…

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He’s so far in the closet, his best friend is a talking faun called Mr Tumnus.

Read all about it HERE.

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Evil-ution Monkey Rib

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Body Count’s in the House

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Let there be MURDER!!!!

Yup… Mind you, they deserved to die, and the way they were killed was perfectly suited to the crimes they committed.

Example: 42 kids mauled to death by she-bears that God set on them…. because they mocked a bald man. Righteous & balanced justice*.

*My arse.

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