God and Son

Poking the bloated corpse of religion with a pointy stick to hear it fart.

God Hits the Nail

Matthew 1:16~ When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.

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So, Mary was married to Joseph, but hadn’t yet met Joseph, and still got her funk on with the giant cloud sitting sky pixie… and Joseph accepted that his wife hadn’t slept around, so didn’t stone her to death, as commanded in the bible…?

Hmmm, looks like Christians have always been quick to follow the easy answer & not question the truth…

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Quick and Dirty

In my head last night…

Oops! I forgot to write a cartoon for tomorrow, I need something quick & dirty…

“…. MARY!!!

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Neil Before God

Neil Armstrong, the first man on the Moon, died yesterday (25th August 2012), aged 82.

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Titanic TARDIS Trouble

Gopher wood… A miracle of wood!

Yup, this wood (only ever mentioned in the Bible directly – Genesis 6-14) must have had magic powers…

You see, the RMS Titanic was almost 4 times taller than Noah’s Ark, almost 1.25 times wider than the Ark, made of structural steel AND THEN it was only just big enough to carry enough food & water to last 3,500 people long enough to make a 2 week journey.

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Gopher wood bestowed TARDIS like powers over the much smaller & weaker Ark, allowing stowage for enough food and water to last over 31,000 warm blooded creatures, AND 2,012,000 cold blooded creatures for 52 weeks… Equally amazing, this gopher wood had properties that stopped the food rotting.

It’s such a shame this wood stopped existing after Genesis… It would have really helped the sailors of galleons and merchant ships in the great days of sailing ships! No more salted and dried meat, rotten fruit and mouldy bread!

Put it this way, the Titanic, for a 2 week voyage, carried for supplies: 75,000lb meat, 11,000lb fish, 40,000 eggs, 40 tonnes of potatoes, 3,500lb of onions, 36,000 apples, 1,000 loaves of bread, and each DAY it required 14,000 gallons of drinking water.

The other amazing thing bestowed by gopher wood is the remarkable way it absorbed all the bodily waste produced by all that lived aboard… After all, only the humans would have had the brains to crap overboard… and then they’d have to clean up after all of those creatures… All 2 million plus…. That’s a lot of crap…

… I mean the whole Ark story, and also the amount of faeces…

Thanks to Pat Evans for pointing out a typo where I totally forgot the mammals… Oops!

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Noah Way Out

Noah’s Ark…

Some Christians defend any questions about this story by saying that it is just an analogy and not meant to be taken literally…. and then some Christians claim to have found the Ark… That’s the trouble with people who already want to believe they’ll find something… They usually do find it, and if it’s not what they expected, they’ll bend the findings to suit their beliefs.

Science on the other hand, learns from mistakes.

Anyway, there’s a shocker… People in the same circles and same factions of the same religious faith both have contrary views…

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Surely there would be a trail of skeletal remains leading from Mount Ararat as the animals moved out from the Ark to their final destinations, breeding & dying and breeding and dying on the way… At least a few odd discoveries … But no… None…

Species diversity & distribution just doesn’t point to the flood ever happening.

Anyway, much like other supposedly tangible religious artefacts, there is no physical proof….

Still, not wanting to shoot the idea down just on the basis of animal remains for one thing, then how about the physical engineering plausibility of building an ark? If only someone would make one…. and then have to resort to modern materials… and then still find that it still wouldn’t work…. Oh yes… SOMEONE DID

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Science manages to back itself up with proofs and new discoveries year in and year out, whilst religious groups fail to find anything to prove what they preach. They prefer to attack and undermine others, rather than rise above it all with their own ‘proofs’ (ha, good luck with that then). Odd that. It’s almost like religion is based on cloud cuckoo fantasy…

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