God and Son

Poking the bloated corpse of religion with a pointy stick to hear it fart.

Jesus & Mohammed get a holey experience.

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Let’s just say it’s not the first time he’s been painfully nailed by a group of men…

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Internet Pr0n

They can take a joke, yeah?

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Scotland Burns as the Vatican Fiddles

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Cardinal O’Brien embarrasses the Catholic Church by allegedly sexually abusing adults.

A break from tradition and a sigh of relief from the choir.

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Aftermath

Back for more?

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God and Son try the ‘Aristocrats’ Joke

The Aristocrats joke… It’s not so much the joke, but the journey…

Before it starts… The following take on the Aristocrats joke has been made using sections of the bible. Instructions commanded by God. True, the language has been brought up to date, but the spirit is as true (ha!) as it was when it was laid out in the Bible.

So, if you find it offensive, what ever you do, DO NOT READ THE BIBLE. It’s full of this depravity.

Oh yeah, they teach the very same bible to children…

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A family walks into a talent agency. It’s a father, mother, son, daughter and three dogs. There are several talent agents and the father says to one of them, “We have a really amazing act. You should represent us.”

The agent says, “Sorry, We don’t represent family acts. They’re a little too cute.”

The mother says, “Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us.”

The agent says, “OK. OK. We’ll take a look.”

The wife asks an office boy in from the corridor and asks him to lie down, where she covers him up and then nails his head to the ground with a tent peg. The father then calls in some workers from outside and offers his wife and daughter to them to rape and sodomise.

Whilst the workers are screwing his wife and daughter to death, the father takes his son and starts beating him against a rock until he is dead. The workers cut up his wife and daughter and leave.

The father steps over the bloody mess & finds a young maiden who he then rapes. He then asks her to marry him, but she refuses, so he takes her to her fathers house, and gathers then men of the village to stone her to death.

The man then attacks one of the other talent scouts and kills him, taking his girlfriend who was their with him. He forces her to strip, shave her head, and then he screws her, but she’s not that into it, so he lets her go… but as she leaves some people from the next door office come into the talent agents office saying that they can’t believe what’s going on. The father then charges into their office, piles all of there belongings up & sets fire to it, along with those that didn’t believe.

Then some work experience boys see the mess in the agency office & start screaming at the father; ‘YOU FREAK! YOU BALD LUNATIC!!!’ at which two she-bears charge into the room and rip the young lads to a bloody death.

One of he talent agents says he can see this will get out of hand, so the father screams at him; ‘SORCERER! VIEWER OF FUTURE EVENTS!!!’ and strikes him to the floor, bombarding him with stones until dead. It’s now that a second son turns up screaming at his father for the crap he is pulling, but the father soon quietens the boy down by breaking his face open with a large rock for talking badly at him.

A cleaning lady sees this all happening and exclaims; ‘JESUS CHRIST! IN GODS NAME YOU CAN’T EXPECT ME TO CLEAR THIS HOLY MESS UP?!?’ So the man turns to her and clubs her to death with a chair for blaspheming.

To finish off, the man goes to the office water fountain & wrenches it from the wall, flooding the room. One of the dogs drown, but the other two – a male and a female – escape on a floating office desk.

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages; “That’s a hell of an act. What do you call it?”

And the father says, “The Christians!”

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A few people have asked for references to the chapters used. A quick reference you can use is HERE. Then you can do what I did & checked that they were right, by going to the Bible itself.

That’s pretty much the lazy way the joke was written. I read those ‘Evil Bible‘ sections, then confirmed them against the Bible, then made up a section of the joke. I modernised the language to suit the current era and inserted a few plot links to join one section to another, but the acts themselves are lifted straight from the bible.

I could save you time & list them chapter & verse, but I figure you should go and read it to see what a cluster-fuck of ass-hattery the whole book & religion is. Take your own word for it, then spread it first hand.

Thanks for all the support it has been given though! Much appreciated folks.

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The Aristochrist

There are people who know of The Aristocrats joke, and there are those they say they don’t, but probably do, although don’t like to admit it.

Tomorrow I will be posting God & Sons own take on the Aristocrats joke.

It should be perfectly safe for children though, because it’s entirely biblical based.

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Pope Benedict the Untouchable

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Some think it’s just a ‘social media’ scam story, but it isn’t.

The Pope gets immunity from criminal charges.

Even before he was Pope, the old fucker was covering up the indiscretions of the Catholic Church. When he became the head of this religious group, he carried on covering it up. Child molestation was whitewashed & politically hidden. He had the power & position to do something, but he didn’t. Nope, he just carried on covering these crimes up, and committing more with his spread of hatred towards gays & their human rights.

It is a shame in cases like this, that heaven & hell don’t exist, because he deserves to burn for eternity. But no… He’ll live until his dying day, in the riches & comfort of the Vatican.

Who will stand up against the Holy See? It’s very doubtful that the followers will protest.

Compare this to cases in the press recently about famous people in child molestation cases from the 1970’s and 80’s. These people have been found guilty, and action has, or is being taken against them. The Pope though, he gets to live in immunity like a war lord or Nazi war criminal.

Fuck religion.

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Gay Marriage Work Around

No… I said work around.

The G&S take on a question that’s been around the block more times than Mary…

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Murder/Suicide Role Model

Killing in thy name of…

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Marriage Guidance for the Masses

Oh if only people could see this for what it is.

Marriage guidance & a moral code, based on a murderous rapist.

Don’t ever judge me if you follow the bible…
…. but then again, you can’t judge me… You mustn’t… The Bible says you’ll be condemned if you do.

But you know that anyway don’t you, my dear Religionut…? Because you’ve read the lot of it… Every bit. I’m sure you have. Only an idiot of astounding thickness, blindness & arrogance would chose to fight on the side of religion without reading their own rule book…

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